let me introduce the boys

i'll start with keith*
he was the first love in my life
he meant the world to me,
but now.. things are kinda stale
will i end up going back to him?

and then theres brock*
i never really had a strong feeling for him
but he made me feel special
and safe
he was so sweet
he was also keith's* best friend.

oh, my oh my, i won't even conceal the name
and then there's mitchell.
wow, the guy i lost my virginity to.
biggest dick of life.
honestly, i'll never talk to him again.

as i mentioned before,
there was drake*
the guy who was
"head over heels for me, and loved me for the past 47238947 years, and omg she means the world to me"
and fed me so many lies to get in my pants.
and then broke up with me four days later because
"i didn't like her as much as i thought i did"
dick.

and now there's john*
we kinda had an open talk last night
here's how it went
it was over text because he was at work
but you'll get the idea

rofl: I'm sorry if i made you worried today, but jason and frank are just friend's to me.
john*: everything you do makes me worried, i don't want to lose you
rofl: i'm sorry.. but they're like my big brothers so theres nothing to be worried about.
john*: it's not just them, every guy you're with i'm worried about
rofl: like mat and eric? i'm probably never gunna hang with them again.. so.
john*: and skinny dipping? (i won't explain this, lmao)
rofl: it was dark, he probably didn't see (it was me, two girl friends, and a guy)
john*: so? you were naked infront of him
rofl: i'll probably never see him again.
john*: so? it still hurts.
rofl: and i feel bad for that, i would never purposally wanna hurt you. i care too much about you
john*: i know but it's like you feel the same to more than one person
rofl: *i thought we were about to have a heart to heart* not at all. you're the only person i feel this way for, i promise. i really wanna try to eventually make this work, i'm happy just to be with you. if you want me to stop flirting with other guys, i will.
john*: i don't know i'm just in a down mood
rofl: thats why i wanna see you soon ):
john*: yeah, me too,

so i don't know how me and him are going to turn out.
you'll know more about john* from my other blogs.

oh, the joys of living in the middle of no where

well, living where i am
aka, middle of no where
i usually hafta make plans a week in advance, to make sure it works out
seeing as i'm too young to drive and hafta rely on two workaholic parents to bring me around
but apparently they'd just rather me stay on the computer the whole summerr
nooooooooo thank you.
the nearest town over is a 20 minute drive, then the one my schools in is only 5 minutes away from that
i guess you can guess where everyone is?
yup.

but i do have one of a girl who used to be my best friend melody* here.
oh, melody,
popular and big boobs.
what else so i hafta say?
looks don't even matter these days.
anyways, she's still in my inner circle of friends
i guess you can label us "popular" ?
but that term is so cliche, i would hate to involve myself in that category.
ever since highschool started, we've become second to everything in her world
boys are waaaaaaay more important, well whoever she's seeing that week
everyones her best friend
wants to make sure everyone likes her
it seems pretty fake, but hey, we put up with it

and there's also john* who lives a 25 minute bike ride away (:
it's worth it.
truuust me.

anyways, i was supposed to hang with melody* today, and her ex boyfriend was going to come
and bring us.. i guess you can guess.
where i live everyone does it, i guess thats what happens when they'res no malls.
but all of a sudden she can't have a sleepover
so i'm on here writting instead.

and listening to some chiodos (y)
i guess you can say i'm a punk rock kid?
even though you couldn't guess it.

oh yeeeaaah! i was supposed to tell you about keith*
wow, my first love
it's actually a long story, we actually met over four years ago
and as soon as we met there was a spark, i know i was like 10,
so maybe thats a bit over dramatic.
but there was definately something there.
to be honest, i've always been the pretty, skinny girl
thats just me.
i don't mean to be cocky, i'm just trying to be honest with you guys
and he was the newly become popular guy, at the french school in my town
oh yeah, i'm english
which is why my school is so far away -_-
so i decided to give him a chance,
like, all relationships at that age we broke up a couple months later
but it didn't matter, we remained best friends
and then acouple months later, we went out again, and broke up.
then a year went by, we were still the best of friend's, we talked all the time
we both had other relationships
but wanna know a secret?
i was still MADLY in love with him
then another year passed, my feelings the same,
but then i found out he was moving, and i couldn't believe it
he wasn't moving far, but far enough.
he was moving to the city.
we never really never really hung out much
but we decided to,
he would stay after school
and i would bike to see him,
well.. some things have changed..
oh well? more to lovee..
i could see past that, to the guy i was in love with for the past 2 years
we were walking around, and we decided to sit down in a shady area, it was pretty hot,
thats where he did it, he kissed me.
it was a sweet kiss, and i wanted to hold onto it for ever..
but WAIT! the only problem is, me and his best friend were kind of seeing eachother
you think i'm kidding? you are wrong.
me and brock*.. oh, wow, what have i done?
read tomorrow (:

i will be posting another blog after this to explain myself a bit more.

this isn't any better

What am I going to do with you?
Do you even care?
we havn't seen eachother in a week and have barely talked.
augh, whatever.

so, i logged onto my facebook honesty box today to read what people really think of me
i got the usual questions
are you a virgin?
did you have sex with drake*?
of course i lied and said ":O OF COURSE NOT! HOW COULD YOU EVER THINK OF SUCHA THING!"
*eyeroll*
but then an interesting one popped up...

"wow rofl, dont do it !
john* is a DICK
i cant believe your dating him,
he is not a good guy okay trust me,"

number 1: how do you KNOW? he wasn't supposed to tell anyone.. if people find out, this could get ugly.
and 2: if you're melissa*, then that sucks. you shouldn't of acted like a physco bitch when you had your chance
..think i'm exaggerating?
everytime he broke up with her, she would threaten to kill herself.
..yeah.

ps. i hung with some guy friends today
who john* isn't really fond of
so i apologized if he got worried, 'cause he was acting weird
and he replied
"everything you do makes me worried, i don't wanna lose you"
then start acting like it.

psssss. i should probably explain keith* sometime soon
he had a HUGE inpact on my life.
oh well, tomorrow ;)

so theres this guy..

lets call him john*,
me and john* have been friends for a while, and have obviously liked eachother for a while also
but we have both been in messy relationships at the time,
him helping me out with drake* (who i may mention is a COMPLETE loser)
and me helping him out with melissa*
we were always there for eachother

finally, we're both single
and we decided that it's time to take our relationship to the next level
to eventually begin a relationship together.
but we would hafta wait for melissa* to be over him obviously, because i'm a good person.
and drake*?
we dont hafta worry about him
he's probably off fucking another girl (:
pssht, whatever.

so tomorrow,
or may i say today?
wednesday, july 29, 2009
was supposed to be the day i told melissa* that me and john* were in love
and are about to date.

but me and john* havn't seen eachother for a while.. with all our plans
and his full time job.
and our texting conversations has began to get flat

so i thought
"hey! i should text him! he's probably as excited about tomorrow as i am!"
heres how it went:

rofl: hey (: do you still want me to talk to melissa* about us? *excited and bubbly inside*
john*: no not yet apparently she still loves me
rofl: *heart drops* oh. i see.

as you can see it was a very deep conversation 8-)
help?

relationship fail count for 2009: 4 and counting.